Cancer sucks! It keeps coming back! It’s not fair. Not to me, not to my family, not to anyone. I have been pushing myself so hard, doing everything I am supposed to do in order to get better and once again the cancer has returned. I am sick of getting that dreaded phone call that I have cancer, I have heard it WAY TOO many times. I am sick of having tests done, being stuck by needles, waiting in doctor’s offices and being told horrible news… but I promise I will do all that it takes to make this horrible disease get the hell out of my body!
Statistically I was not the type of person that fit the mold for this type of cancer and when “hot spots” showed on my follow-up PET scan on the opposite side of my neck the doctor was pretty confident it was a false positive, which PET scans are known to have. I pushed my doctor to order follow up tests, which at my last appointment he was so thankful I spoke up and had him order me an ultrasound, which then turned into needing a biopsy, which confirmed that cancer has now spread to the other side of my neck. Both my doctors from University of Penn and my doctor at the Mayo Clinic both informed me that statistically this is nearly unheard of! Go figure! At this point in time, I’m so glad I advocated, read my reports prior to my visit and did my own research otherwise I would be sitting here with cancer just waiting on my next PET scan in 3 months thinking everything was totally fine. One thing I have learned is that you need to trust your gut/instinct because NO ONE knows your body better than you do.
To be honest I am very in shock and I know all of my doctors are as well. Very rarely does this cancer happen in my age/gender and it is not known to spread to the other side. We really thought that by this point in the month of May that the worst was going to be behind us so we decided to book a vacation on a Disney cruise, which is leaving on Mother’s Day. We thought this vacation was going to be a celebratory trip after all that we have been through. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I was going to be returning from a week Disney cruise and entering surgery AGAIN the following day. Now, that is exactly what is happening…it’s a complete nightmare!
Plan of action:
Today I had a fine-cut CT scan of just my larynx (pray nothing shows!)
Rob, Bobby, Brody, my in-laws and I will be leaving on Mother’s Day on an amazing Disney cruise and returning Sunday evening, 5/15/16. I am going to try my absolute hardest to put this behind me and enjoy this magical time.
Surgery will happen the next day 5/16/16. During the surgery, the first thing the doctor will do is look at my larynx while under anesthesia to make sure no cancer is showing on the larynx…more can been seen while under anesthesia as my vocal cords will be paralyzed. If there is suspicion, surgery will most likely be over because I will then be having a different plan of action. (I really hope this is not the case because otherwise I would most likely be going back to the Mayo Clinic and it will really not be good for my larynx.) Fingers crossed nothing shows and the doctor can proceed with the right neck dissection. The doctor wants to really get rid of the tumor that can be felt in my neck as soon as possible as well as remove all the lymph nodes that appear abnormal. At this time, it is my HOPE that the neck dissection is all I need. I will have another beautiful scar, which will now span my entire neck. I will wear this with pride, strength and determination. IF additional lymph nodes test positive for cancer and depending on the formation of the nodes involved with cancer will determine if any additional treatment is needed. If so, I will be looking at radiation (possibly chemotherapy) but I REALLY DO NOT want radiation. The side effects of radiation to this portion of my body along with my age pose significant problems. I’m trying to stay positive that I will not need this but have been warned I am at a much greater risk this time around. (This is a very delicate subject with me and I am not ready for it at all!) So for now, I will continue taking deep breaths and taking everything one step at a time.
I am hoping, praying, wishing with all that I have that my fifth surgery will make me cancer free.
thegladwinfive 
Jess, we join with everyone in sending more love and prayers. Enjoy Mother’s Day and the Disney cruise vacation what a great idea that was, it will be magical. There is no doubt that you will make the best decision once you have all the information. Let them double check everything. Love and hugs, Lorraine & Stephen
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Praying 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Darling Jess, we pray with all our might that you will need the least surgery and the best possible outcome on the 16th May. You’re right, this really shouldn’t be happening to you, Robbie, Bobby, Brodie and Natalie Rose.
Enjoy Mothers Day and the wonderful Disney Cruise with the family. You deserve to celebrate how far you have come on your journey battling cancer and will continue to do so. You’re a fighter my darling and I know this will not beat you. At the end of all this you will have another scar, but quite rightly you will wear them all with pride as a fighter and survivor. Deep breath, round 2 then you’re home.
I know when we are able to come and visit again, you will have the biggest hugs ever and, so of course, our Robbie and your gorgeous babies who we have yet to see. I love it when you post all the wonderful photos on FB, as it just brings you all so much closer to us.
Lots of love and prayers my darling.
Sue, Pete, Alex and Kayleigh Xxxxxxxxxx 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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We’re all prayng for you. You’re a fighter Good Luck..
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