Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m a creature of habit and routine. My life is very structured, which at times can be positive and other times negative. Being diagnosed with cancer has been the scariest time of my life. I have never been more scatter brained. I’ve lost focus on a lot of things, but this past week I have really started to zoom in.
Having majority of my vocal cords removed has been a HUGE adjustment. It feels like I lost a piece of me…my voice. No one will recognize my new voice, I sound like I’m really sick. Strangers cringe and tell me “oh boy, you don’t sound good.” Gee thanks!
I’m trying to take life day by day, which is challenging for me, since I am such a planner. This past week I feel that I have made progress to help me live life day by day right now. I’m trying to slow down and be patient in letting my body heal from having three major surgeries in three months. I have arranged a schedule for swallowing/speech/physical therapy and set up all my doctor appointments and follow up tests. (Except for my return to the Mayo Clinic for most likely another surgery.) I feel a little sense of relief that I have the start of a plan even though there are still so many unknowns.
I’ve cried more this past month than I ever have. I have had some really, really difficult times but I have learned that I’m not alone in this fight. Each day, I know I’m very blessed because I have the best support system ever! Right now, I am completely focused on doing what I need to do in order to learn to accept my new normal.
thegladwinfive 
Hello my darling, it was good to receive another of your updates, as I’m sure so are many of your family and friends that aren’t in frequent contact normally.
I’m sure you have shed so many tears this past month as you have been busy being so strong and focussing on what you have had to get through with your operations etc., that probably the enormity of your journey is just hitting you; anger, frustration, tiredness and then such happiness at having survived cancer.
I can’t begin to pretend I know what you have gone through, however, I do know that you have the best family, friends and medical team to get you through this most testing of times. You know all of us that read your updates can only be inspired by your strength and determination to have the best recovery ever.
Jess my darling, you have survived cancer, but very unfairly one of the scars from the cancer is your voice, which as you rightly say was you. Everyone will start to learn how the new you sounds and they will stop commenting on how you sound and that will be easier for you to cope with, as you don’t want to hear you sound poorly, because you’re well now the cancer has gone; however, your rehabilitation schedule will be hard and tiring I’m sure at times, but you will succeed, ‘cos you’re a fighter.
We send the biggest hug to you, Robbie, Bobby, Brody and Natalie Rose. You’re always in our prayers and thoughts. We love you all lots. Sue, Pete, Alex and Kayleigh Xxxx💕😊💕😊
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