Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m a creature of habit and routine. My life is very structured, which at times can be positive and other times negative.  Being diagnosed with cancer has been the scariest time of my life.  I have never been more scatter brained. I’ve lost focus on a lot of things, but this past week I have really started to zoom in. 

Having majority of my vocal cords removed has been a HUGE adjustment.  It feels like I lost a piece of me…my voice. No one will recognize my new voice, I sound like I’m really sick.  Strangers cringe and tell me “oh boy, you don’t sound good.” Gee thanks! 

I’m trying to take life day by day, which is challenging for me, since I am such a planner. This past week I feel that I have made progress to help me live life day by day right now. I’m trying to slow down and be patient in letting my body heal from having three major surgeries in three months. I have  arranged a schedule for swallowing/speech/physical therapy and set up all my doctor appointments and follow up tests. (Except for my return to the Mayo Clinic for most likely another surgery.) I feel a little sense of relief that I have the start of a plan even though there are still so many unknowns. 

I’ve cried more this past month than I ever have. I have had some really, really difficult times but I have learned that I’m not alone in this fight.  Each day, I know I’m very blessed because I have the best support system ever! Right now, I am completely focused on doing what I need to do in order to  learn to accept my new normal.