Today marks day 50 of being cancer free. Busy. Determined. Hard work. Strength. Focused. Structure. Thankful. This has been my life to the extreme since having my last surgery. I’ve had so much support and encouragement since this all began and I wouldn’t be where I am today without it all. 
I always knew life with three kids would be busy always tending to their needs. My plan was never to put so much energy into myself, but lately I’ve had to. 
I am now in a routine of swallowing, speech and physical therapy, which has been extremely challenging, tiring and time consuming. I am working my hardest to maximize what is left of my vocal cord. I am also finally cleared to exercise so I’m working on building up my breathing to improve the airway. It’s going to be a long road but each day I only get more determined and focused. 
I try not to look too far in the future because the unknown is really scary. I’m starting to take life one day at a time and enjoy each small victory as it comes. These past 50 days I have really realized how blessed I am to be cancer free and that I am able to watch my children grow. 

Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m a creature of habit and routine. My life is very structured, which at times can be positive and other times negative.  Being diagnosed with cancer has been the scariest time of my life.  I have never been more scatter brained. I’ve lost focus on a lot of things, but this past week I have really started to zoom in. 

Having majority of my vocal cords removed has been a HUGE adjustment.  It feels like I lost a piece of me…my voice. No one will recognize my new voice, I sound like I’m really sick.  Strangers cringe and tell me “oh boy, you don’t sound good.” Gee thanks! 

I’m trying to take life day by day, which is challenging for me, since I am such a planner. This past week I feel that I have made progress to help me live life day by day right now. I’m trying to slow down and be patient in letting my body heal from having three major surgeries in three months. I have  arranged a schedule for swallowing/speech/physical therapy and set up all my doctor appointments and follow up tests. (Except for my return to the Mayo Clinic for most likely another surgery.) I feel a little sense of relief that I have the start of a plan even though there are still so many unknowns. 

I’ve cried more this past month than I ever have. I have had some really, really difficult times but I have learned that I’m not alone in this fight.  Each day, I know I’m very blessed because I have the best support system ever! Right now, I am completely focused on doing what I need to do in order to  learn to accept my new normal.