Today the journey to Scottsdale, AZ officially started with Rob and my mom by my side. (Well, mom almost got left at the airport after being searched going through security but they let her go!)

Right now, if you name the emotion I feel it, times a million. Here’s just a few:

Happy – surgery is an option.

Hopeful – that this is going to work and I’m going to beat this.

Confident -traveling across the country to be in the best hands.

Fear -the unknowns, the details, the recovery.

Devastation – leaving my children for an extended period of time.

Grateful – the tremendous amount of support that has helped me and my family so far.

Sad – was this morning the last time I will be able to breast feed Natalie?

Scared – what’s going to happen?

Anxious – when will I be able to talk? What will I sound like? When will I be able to eat? When will I be able to hold my children?

Proud – for how sweet my son is. When I was giving Bobby a hug good-bye my dad told Bobby to give me a bear hug. Bobby turned and said “No, I can’t. I be careful. I don’t want to hurt Mommy’s boo-boo.”

As our drive started and I began to cry leaving my children, Rob turns to me and says “I’m excited.” I gave him one of my famous looks and nearly wanted to reach across the car and strangle him until he explained. Rob told me “I’m  excited to get this started, over with and put behind us.” Well, he sure is my rock right now because I couldn’t agree more with him.

So, I guess I can add excitement to my list of emotions too!

No sooner did he say this and a new song started on the radio. As we began to listen we heard:

“Don’t worry about a thing ‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright.” – Bob Marley

It was in this moment Rob and I knew a message was being sent to us.

(My last snuggle with the kids.)